How to fight a woman

I have fought a few women in my time, and while I can claim quite a few victories, I can also report quite a few losses. Most frustratingly however, is the fact that for the great many of these fights – even the ones where I won – I never quite knew what was going on.

Clearly, I’m not talking about physical fights here; I’m not a violent man, nor do I participate in martial combat that would pit me against the fairer sex. Rather, I’m speaking about your average, run-of-the-mill domestic conflict: the argument.

I doubt I’m alone in this – to a great degree my relationships have been successful (except ultimately at the end, where clearly they were not). But when things went south, and we commenced arguing, things got very confusing.

But then I read an article by Michael Crichton on how to properly conduct a domestic dispute. Or, at least that’s what it would be called, were it targetted to a school or other educational facility.

The really interesting thing about this article actually, is that it was written for Playboy Magazine, and as such, it was targetted at Playboy readers. The article talks a lot about “winning” a fight with a woman, but then goes to great lengths to define “winning” as something other than traditionally known.

Traditionally, the winner of a fight leaves his opponent bruised and bloody, unable to fight back. A boxing match ends with one man standing, the other unable. But Crichton is crafty, and ultimately defines winning in terms that are beneficial to both parties – a win by Crichton’s standard is a win for the relationship, not simply for the man. And yet his terminology, his tone – they both call out to the competative nature in a man. It’s beautiful – a guy following these instructions will lead an argument to a proper, mutually beneficial resolution, and yet sleep well at night, knowing he accomplished his goal, and “won” the argument by his terms.

Regardless of the fantastic misdirection, I have to recommend this article to all the men I know (and some of the women as well, even if just to understand how the other side views yours). It explains a lot of the mysteries behind a lot of women’s actions, and many tactics you can use to successfully resolve situations that in the past may have lead to disaster.

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  • May Chu

    May ChuMay Chu


    Try “man are from mars and women are from venus”, and the “5 love languages”. Both are very good books that contribute to a harmonious relationship with my partner both in business and in life. One thing to note however, being “right” and “having love” cannot coexist….